Like - A Spoonful Of Peanut Butter

There comes a time in your life where you look into your cupboard with an empty stomach, grab a jar of peanut butter, and eat it by the spoonful. Now, that might happen because you recognize the efficiency of this snack or because you love peanut butter or because you couldn’t come up with anything better or because of another perfectly justifiable reason. Truth be told, you don’t need permission to eat peanut butter with a spoon. And contrary to what Charlie Brown says (in the world’s most boring middle school play) eating peanut butter with a spoon doesn’t mean you’re depressed either. It’s a totally normal thing to do, even if it sounds weird to some. On that note, let it be known that it’s perfectly ok to ignore the Orthodox Peanut Butter On Bread theologians. Their gastronomical pedantry has been wrong since the sixth ecumenical council. Everyone knows that. However, it is advised that you drink some milk out of the carton to help wash the peanut butter down. Otherwise, you might be found dead in your kitchen, which would force someone to call the cops, who would bring in homicide and forensics, and then they’d have to charge a jar of peanut butter with manslaughter. You don’t want to go out like that, even if it would be an amusing anecdote at the pearly gates.