Don’t Like - Squeezing Toothpaste From The Middle

Squeezing a tube of toothpaste is a simple test of character. It reveals whether you’re fighting against or embracing the inherent entropy of the world. As a fighter against entropy, I like to squeeze toothpaste from the back of the tube. I place my thumb and index finger against the back of the seam to apply pressure. This ensures that a nice dollop(?)¹ gets spread evenly onto my brush. Importantly, this works well throughout your time using a given tube—so long as it isn’t in one of those weird metallic tubes that Tom’s Toothpaste used to come in. Those who squeeze in the middle only get to enjoy the smooth-flowing toothpaste for so long before it becomes a chore to get the paste out of the tube. If they try not to be wasteful, they must surely switch to the push-from-the-back method. So it begs the question: why not start there in the first place? Is it worth being that chill? If so, how much? These are personal moral questions that don’t have a right answer. The only thing I know to truly be wrong is cutting open the tube to scrape every last bit of paste out because we must also be able to accept some paste waste.

1. Based on this Reddit thread, it seems like no one knows what to call the shape of extruded toothpaste.