Don't Like - Trader Joe's

I’ve never really understood the Trader Joe’s hype. Ok, they’ve got the iconic tote bag. That’s cool for them. They’ve also got some frozen food options, tasty carrot juice, good deals on certain items, and those delicious ice cream cookie sandwiches for like $5 for an entire box.¹ Exceptions aside, Trader Joe’s is overall kind of whack. It all starts with the Hawaiian print shirts that the employees have to wear. I realize how that might be more fun than a stricter uniform but, also, work as summer camp for adults is a weird vibe, too. I get that Trader Joe’s has a Tiki vibe to it, but I only want that vibe when there’s rum to drink and I don’t drink while I shop for groceries. Vibes aside, the produce is bad. Everyone knows this about Trader Joe’s but that doesn’t make it any better. To that end, eating their frozen food isn’t that big of a win. Sure, their chicken tikka masala is tasty but so is the chicken tikka masala at an Indian restaurant in your city. Go there instead. Also, a lot of their in-house products just aren’t that good. Like, is there a bodybuilder on God's green earth that uses Trader Joe’s protein powder? Of course not. And what’s up with the diagonal aisles in so many of their stores? It’s bizarre. The worst part though is that every Trader Joe’s has the most impossible parking lot you’ve ever been to. TJ’s corporate says there isn’t a conspiracy here but isn’t that what they’re supposed to say?² Anyway, they’ve got some good items and I’ll surely be back but the cult appeal feels phony and it’ll never be my regular store.

1. Let the record reflect that I have indeed spent time shopping at Trader Joe’s.

2. An article of them denying the obvious: https://www.today.com/food/news/trader-joes-conspiracy-theories-small-parking-lots-rcna87428