Don't Like - Twisters
Whoever said this was a good movie was lying. Whoever is saying Glen Powell is our next great A-list male star is lying. Twisters isn’t just a dumb movie, it’s a laughably bad movie. The problems start with the fact it’s the kind of the movie has a bunch of fancy faux-science speak that’s been cross checked against wikipedia articles enough to have the veneer of intelligence. To that end, there’s been a fuss that Twisters doesn’t talk about climate change and we should be upset about that but Twisters wouldn’t have anything real to say. It’s too dumb. The whole plot of the movie is that Daisy Edgar-Jones once tried to “tame a tornado” with a bunch of chemicals but basically didn’t have enough, so three of her friends died a brutal death by getting sucked into a tornado.1 There’s a love story along the way but maybe it’s more of a platonic situationship built on mutual respect and knowledge of storms because the real love story is a strong, independent woman rediscovering her purpose in life. No one kisses in this impossibly horny and stupid movie,2 which has the ingredients of a “good movie.” You’ve got corporate interests doing bad things to normal people and a group sexier than normal everyday people trying to stop it. But there’s no real point in discussing the plot because the plot is pointless. What Twisters should have had instead was a “whoop counter” because Glen Powell says “whoop” over hundred times in the movie. I mean, how else would we know that driving into the center of a tornado is exciting? It’s not from the highly produced and totally mediocre special effects throughout. The smoke monster from Lost is more intriguing than anything in the 2:15:00 of Twisters. But what about the characters, were they any good? The answer is no starting from the leads and moving on down. Daisy Edgar-Jones gives a terrible turn as an Oklahoma farm girl with a preternatural sense for storms who is dealing with unprocessed trauma. Maybe it’s the five years her character spends in NYC for unseen character development, or maybe it’s Daisy’s lifetime of experience as a posh British actor that’s holding her back. It doesn’t matter though, no one is really there to see her—least of all the 15 high school girls who were in my theater. We’re all here for Glen Powell as the bad-boy-good-guy-gym-rat-science-nerd-reckless-adventure-seeker-precaution-taker who isn’t afraid to show up at a random woman’s childhood home to romance her in her old barn that’s still filled with her middle school science projects. He brings very little acting wise to the movie but at least he can wear a white cowboy hat and even whiter shirt.3 The worst though is Anthony Ramos as Javi. I’ve never felt more certain I was watching a true Razzie performance than seeing him act in this movie. The rest of the cast is bad too, including the unlovable lovable losers who feel so generic you wonder if people making movies now have met an eccentric person ever in their lives. It was nice seeing Substack author Paul Scheer at the end in a very small cameo though. Anyway, I could go on but there’s absolutely no need to. Twisters is a mess. Don’t trust someone who says that it’s good.
This is also apparently the plot of Twister, the 90s original, which means it’s following in the Top Gun Maverick school of reboots and remakes.
However, because the movie never offers any romantic release, it is in some ways much, much hornier than this year’s “horniest” movie: Challengers.
Tide or Hanes should do a campaign with him right now. Something kind of wholesome but maybe a little bit naughty. Jeremy Allen White had a corduroy couch, maybe Glen Powell could get a wicker chair.
two-hour long generic country music video!!